I made this video playlist at myflashfetish.com
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Sunday, December 23, 2012
It's been a long time since i wrote here. Well, first thing, congratulations that i'm still alive! Survived the 21st December 2012 rumour :) Everytime i decide to write here, it definitely isn't good news as i must have hit another bottom pit in my life. I think it may be regarding social life this time? I'm already stressed enough with all the work i have to face in my study life but my recent social life don't seem to be going smoothly too. Lost count of the friends i've lost contact with and the close ones doesn't seem to care much too. Is is really that difficult to maintain a friendship? Am i such a failure? Birthday's coming next month but i don't think i have very high hopes for it. Always wished that there would be a bunch of friends who would actually make an extra effort to plan everything and surprise me. Guess that's what i always do for other people? Maybe i am just not that type of person who will be invited to parties or any fun outings by people? Life has not been happy recently but no one bothers anyway. When is that person who will care for me and only worry about me appear? :/ Things don't seem to be going well either. Sometimes i wished for a reset button in life so that i can re-make all the things in my life, go through all the processes in a different and more meaningful way as well as filter my choice of friends. However, it occurred to me that no matter how many times we can reset life, there are still many different issues that we have to go through. Now, i just wish that i can go further my studies somewhere and stay away from "my world' for a period of time, but i know that's quite impossible due to my limited financial capabilities. Maybe another issue that has been bothering me is the achievements in life? I prefer to have a carefree life and not to be binded by that many responsibilities in this world. However, it seems that i am too good at choosing my friends and majority of them are achieving loads of awesome things in life and sometimes, i feel inferior, especially when other friends come to you and talk about these people. I just feel that whatever i do in life, i always do not get praised as much or get any recognition. It may be because i am really not that great but sometimes, encouragement is just so important. :( Sometimes, i hope to be an anti-social person so that i can totally not bother about the other things happening in life, but i know i am not :( Future seems so bleak to me now and i really don't know where am i heading towards. Somebody help me please! >.<